Celebrating Autism

April is Autism Awareness Month and Friday, April 2nd was World Autism Awareness Day.

Where to begin...  I meant to write this last week sometime but, alas, life happens and I find myself on the computer less and less, hence, the blog silence...again.  

We've been on this autism journey with Amelia for almost three years now.  It all began with a hunch that she had autism, an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) evaluation that placed her a mere three points off the spectrum and attributed her ASD characteristics to a speech delay, intense (private and expensive) speech therapy to supplement the therapy provided by the school district and an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting this past January with her teachers and the school psychologist which led to a diagnosis of autism.

Amelia has caught up to age appropriate speech skills and has been discharged from speech at school and we are ending the private therapy next week.  It has been a lot of time, work and money but so, so worth it.  I met with her teachers and the school psychologist a few months ago for her annual IEP meeting.  Amelia is now on a consult basis for speech (it is hard to add it back on in the future if she falls behind again, hence, the "consult" status) and autism was brought to the table.  

The school psychologist (Mrs. R) has known Amelia three years now, she knows we've always felt she was different, she knows about her ASD evaluation and it's findings.  She feels what we feel - that Amelia has autism.  Her kindergarten teacher and special education teachers concurred.  We went through the formalities, did the checklist required to "label" her as having autism and you know what?  It felt good.  When we went to Fraser in Minneapolis for her initial ASD evaluation they stressed to us that the schools over label kids, they can label kids with little reason etc and getting a medical diagnosis is the better way to go.  Ok, fine.  We did that.  She tested slightly off the spectrum and they flat out told us that if we came back tomorrow she could test farther off or totally on.  In our opinion, they dismissed us too quickly.  I expressed all of the above to the faculty at the IEP meeting and Mrs. R looked at me and said, "I've known Amelia a long time now.  I see her on good days and I see her on bad days.  Fraser only saw her twice.  I know you were never satisfied with their results and I'm here to tell you I think you are right and I agree with you.  She has autism."  

Amelia has autism.  She's not autistic.  She's Amelia and she has autism.  I can't tell you how hard it is for me to not scream when people refer to her as autistic, like it defines her.  It doesn't.  It's just a part of who she is - not what she is.

It doesn't change anything.  She's been a challenging child most of her life.  She's beautiful.  She's very smart.  She's LOUD.  She's strong-willed.  She's funny.  She's an emotional roller coaster.  She's kind.  Basically, she's an awesome kid with a little extra AU-some (see what I did there? hehe).

Emotions are, by far, the biggest struggle we have with Amelia.  She is an extremely emotional child and she lets you know how she is feeling - loudly.  It is difficult to calm her because she can't hear you over her screaming/wailing/yelling.  As a result we started yelling to be heard over her and because of that our boys now yell to be heard.  We are just a loud, loud household.  That is something we are working on.  When she is in an emotional fit I just try and calmly say, over and over, "I can't understand you when you yell.  Please take a deep breath, calm down and try talking slowly."  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Sometimes I don't even try and, unfortunately, go straight to yelling.  We'll get there in time.  

Amelia has taught me the importance of patience and made me keenly aware of how very little I tend to have.  Patience is something that I work on every single day.  Some days I have an abundance of patience and some days I have next to none.  I've gone on an anti-depressant to, as the doctor put it, "lengthen my fuse just a little bit" and I can honestly say, it helps.  I don't like the fact that I have to take a pill every single day but when I forget to take it, it's obvious and quickly reminds me of why I was prescribed it in the first place. 

What now?  We are in the process of setting up a second ASD evaluation at Gillette Children's Hospital in St. Paul.  Maybe she'll test the same.  Maybe she won't.  Their findings aren't going to change the school's diagnosis.  I know, in my heart, that she has autism.  The medical diagnosis is just a formality at this point - just in case we would ever need it for any unforeseen reason in the future. 

So there you have it - my daughter has autism.  She is on the spectrum...

...and I couldn't be prouder of her and I know I am very, very lucky to get to be her mom. 

Not Allowed for Boys...

Amelia is very adamant that the top bunk is "not allowed for boys."

The stars must have aligned just right last night because this happened...

She invited him up!

And they had fun!  

It was awesome and just what this mommy needed!

VIP Lunch

Yesterday was the first VIP lunch at Amelia's school.  All I knew was that the children would perform a few songs for their families and then everyone was invited to stay and eat lunch in the community room.  I figured I'd go, listen to their songs and taker her home for lunch vs. eating there.  

On my way to her room I ran into her speech pathologist and teacher from last year*.  After chatting for a few minutes they let me know that Amelia was so, so excited for the lunch at school.  Mommy fail.  I got on the phone quick and called Jason who whipped together a few sandwiches and brought them to school for us.  Whew!  

*Her teacher from last year has been stopping in off and on to make sure that Amelia is adjusting well to being in a regular classroom etc.

This week and last week they have been focusing a lot on fire safety.  A fire truck even came to school last week and they not only met the firemen but got to tour the truck as well.  Amelia loved that.  For this lunch they made a special, fire truck themed treat:

How cute is that?!  She ate the entire thing because the plate only said "Amelia" and not "Amelia and mommy."  LOL!  

It sounds like they will do this a couple more times throughout the year and next time I (or more likely Jason and the boys) will be more prepared and bring a lunch from the get-go! 

First Day of 4K!

Today was the first day of 4K!  I took the day off so I could get her ready, drop her off and pick her up!  

First day outfit :)

We only live a few blocks from her 4K site so we walked.

She has her very own "locker" to put her backpack and jacket in.

She asked me several times on the walk there if I was going to stay with her and I told her I couldn't but I'd be back soon.  Once we actually got there I didn't get so much as a wave goodbye.  She was too excited about learning the names of the dwarf frogs in the classroom - Peanut Butter and Jelly, for those curious.

When I went to pick her up I was nervous she had had a bad day because she was scowling.  Well, she had a great day!  So great that she wanted to stay and have lunch there with the "wrap around" kids (kids whose parents cannot pick them up right away!)  I eventually coaxed her out of there and we were on our way.

When we got home she got a little first day of school surprise.

A Pinkie Pie equestria girl!  Mostly I just needed an excuse to give this to her (I've had it about a month) because I wanted to make sure she would play with it (it is a doll after all) before I got her anymore for Christmas/birthday gifts!  So far...she loves her!  

Tomorrow it is up to Dad and Joe to get her to school!  I'm already looking forward to maternity leave but another highlight will be getting to drop her off and pick her up from school :)

4K Open House

Tonight was Amelia's 4K open house!

She is going at our local gym (similar to a YMCA) and we are thrilled!  I got our application in the first week they were accepting them because we really wanted her to go to this particular site!  They include swimming lessons as part of their curriculum, swim every other Wednesday, on the opposite Wednesdays they have a gym class with one of the gym's instructors and a lot more!  It just seemed like a very active environment for our very active girl!

She will continue speech with the school district at 4K.  Her speech pathologist will come into her 4K classroom once a week and work with her either individually or with the group, depending on what they are doing at the time.

She starts in "5 more sleeps" (we measure time for her in "sleeps") and we are all very excited! 

Little Conductor

The other night, after dinner while I was doing dishes, I heard a tap, tap, tap.  It was Amelia tapping an old glow stick on the kitchen table.  I asked her what she was up to and she responded, "I am the conductor!"  I suggested she find some "people" to conduct.  Her solution?  Miniature My Little Ponies.  I helped her set some up (because she kept knocking them over on accident) and then I went back to dishes and she conducted the ponies.

I got to listen to her ponies perform Mozart's Eine kleine Nachtmusik!  She hummed it quite accurately too - I was impressed!  This girl never ceases to amaze me with the things she comes up with!  Her familiarity with classical music at the age of four, to me, is quite impressive!

Five Photos on Friday

Some pictures of the kids from this month that I never got around to sharing on here! 

Doctor on Call

Amelia absolutely loves the doctor.  She is thrilled to go and she especially likes our family practitioner, Dr. Dahl.  She helps out at my OB appointments by squeezing the goop onto my tummy for the doppler and she always makes sure we all get stickers on the way out.  

Over the weekend she was asking to wear her (too small) doctor costume and I finally just got it out for her and helped her into it.  

 

Next thing I knew "Dr. Dahl" was at my side and I was in the chair for a "check-up" for our baby.  She listened to my tummy with her stethoscope, took my blood pressure and checked my ankles.  

 

The best part was when she was feeling around for baby and he kicked.  

 

 It was her first time feeling him move and she thought it was the best thing ever!  

She has turned into such a good big sister after the rocky start we had bringing Joe home.  She can't wait for her new baby and she tells me all the time it is really hard to wait for my tummy to pop so he can come out.  Yes, she thinks my stomach will explode, at the belly button, and her new baby will come out!

The Big Movie House

This past Saturday, my mom and I took Amelia to see a movie in the theater!  She has gone a couple of other times but has gotten scared because of how loud it is.  We've been waiting for the right movie to come along to give it another shot.  

  My mom saw that a theater not too far away has been showing My Little Pony: Equestria Girls every few Saturday mornings knew that would be a great one to take her to!  There was still the issue of the noise.  That's where Papa's "special ear covers" came in handy!

Yep, the ear muffs my dad wears while mowing the lawn worked perfectly to muffle the noise just enough for Amelia to enjoy the movie!  She sure does love those ponies!
 

 

I'll admit, I also love that she loves the ponies...they were my favorite when I was younger too!  They're a little different these days, more modern, but I've managed to get past that with time ;)

Amelia's First Haircut

Today was finally the day - I took Amelia for her first haircut!

They gave her a sucker to help her sit still.  I also had my hair cut and I was in the chair you can see behind Amelia.  They turned and faced us towards each other so I ended up being able to snag a picture of her while she was in the chair!

Shortly after I took the picture she requested to not have to look at mom!

I didn't have much length taken off because she has some wonderful ringlets at the bottom of her hair that I didn't want to lose :)  Jason expected a much shorter hairstyle on her though so next time we may go shorter!  

All in all she did really well and I am glad we finally got her "scraggly" ends trimmed up!

"The Face"

Amelia has always made this angry/irritated/crabby face.  

 

We used to think it was hysterical when she was an infant.  Now that she is older though it really comes out when she is in a "mood" and giving us attitude - not as cute!

Big Day Out

Friday I got off of work by eight o'clock so we headed out with Auntie Kim and Papa.  Our first stop was the Mall of America for Build-a-Bear!  A co-worker told me she received an e-mail about My Little Pony being there for the week.  Well, I think she misread it because it is there indefinitely we were told, ha!  Oh well, she had a blast!

Right away she chose Rainbow Dash!

Giving her a bath

Brushing her hair

She also made Joe a dinosaur which he is slowly taking to - nothing can compare to his "wormy!"

After leaving the mall we grabbed lunch at Chris & Rob's and Amelia went to town on her hot dog - bun and all!  

 

Usually she skips the bun!

Even though most of the animals are still inside (too cold still!) we stopped by Como Zoo on our way home.  

I forgot hats so the kids had to borrow Colts gear from WeHaw...

By far the best sighting of the day was this:

An orangutan in a purple polo shirt?!

Everyone was pretty wiped out by the time we headed home! 

Amelia was excited for bedtime with all her Rainbow Dash friends!

A Simple Celebration

Yesterday we had a small, family cake and present party for Amelia.  We went smaller this year because we really wanted to have it at our apartment for once.  By smaller I mean we just decided to not have it with a meal involved - only cake :)  

I made her birthday cake for the first time this year (usually my sister makes it.)

My Little Pony birthday cake :)

Amelia with dad's decorations

The four of us!

Joe found himself an (empty) drink!

All in all we think it was a success!  Amelia had fun with everyone over and got a lot of neat new things for her birthday!

How We Approached Potty Training

"She's still in (long pause) diapers?"

The above is a question I will no longer have to hear!!! Amelia is now daytime potty-trained!  We are ecstatic and so proud of her!

Potty-training has long been a sore subject for us as we watched our peers with children born around the same time as Amelia potty-train.  We were just never there.  We felt judgement from people which slowly turned to embarrassment.  We've fought about it for about six months now and last week was the week.  I was off work and I decided we were just going to face it head on and DO IT.  So, we did!

Last Sunday morning when she woke up I got her diaper off and asked her to pick out a pair of underwear.  I was prepared with the arsenal of licensed 4T underwear I've been picking up on clearance for two years.  

She was hesitant and told me she did not want to wear underwear because it "has holes in it" which is the result of the one day a month ago she asked to wear underwear and she had an accident.  I told her there are no holes, we inspected the pair she selected and for the entire morning I sat her on the potty every half-hour.  She was not thrilled and told me, several times, "mom, this is not a great idea."  LOL.

I set up a rainbow reward system for her on the bathroom door:

 

Each day of the week was a different color and each time she used the potty she got a sticker (two for #2.)  It became clear to me quickly that she didn't grasp the concept of days so I coordinated our wall calendar with this rainbow:

Before bed each night we would cross off the day we just finished.  After the brown day she would get her big prize.  Something she has been asking for since before Christmas.  In addition to the stickers she also got a Starburst (or "potty candy" as she now calls them) after each success.

By day three I could tell she had some fear over #2 and I knew I'd have to persuade her to just do it.  I decided to go to the store and grab three of the blind bag baby ponies she loves (and we have far too many of...) and tape them to the bathroom door.  She noticed them right away and I told her she could have one each time she went #2.  Within two hours she had done it and overcome that fear!

Caramel Apple, Banana Bliss and Barber Groomsby - our newest "babies"

 

Our accident total is only at three.  Yes, three!  Two on day one and one on day three.  She went to school three days and had no accidents!  Amazing!  By day two I was finding her on the potty, reading, all by herself:

Friday (day six) Joe had a doctor appointment and I really struggled with what to do about that.  She is scared of "big potties" and I wasn't sure what she'd do when faced with only a "big potty."  When I asked her she said, "I'll get wet" as in she wouldn't use it.  I didn't want to backtrack though so we went in underwear.  I brought spare underwear and clothes and we didn't need them!  After the doctor we went to my parents because I had a feeling she was holding it because there were no "little potties" and they have the same chair that we have.  Yeah, she went as soon as we got there!

On the night of day seven we gave her her big prize:

Baby Butterscotch.  Normally this is not a toy I would get for her based on the price alone ($119.99) but when it went on a crazy price-cut before Christmas I talked to Jason and we decided to get it.  I got it for only $45.09 (after my discounts) and found out that two days later the crazy price-cut was caught and fixed!  They had accidentally marked it down to $49.99 instead of $99.99 company-wide - ha!  I thought something was fishy with that big of a price drop but I just figured they were trying to be competitive for the holidays or something!

Look at her - you can see how proud she is!

Even Joe loves Baby Butterscotch:

 

We will probably have more accidents down the road - especially as we venture out more.  We still have nighttime to tackle in underwear.  We still have the fear of "big potties" to overcome but I just don't care right now!  My girl wears underwear all day!  For now, that is enough for me :)

Simple Fun

Sometimes the everyday things that entertain my children amazes me.  

Like this:

A chair and step stool = a "ride."  I am assuming it was a rollercoaster-type ride based on her actions.  She had her hands up and she was swaying from side to side while screaming.

Last month Joe developed a huge fascination with pots and pans.

For a few weeks he had a pot, pan and/or lid with him at all times.  There was no stopping him!

We have one kitchen tool that both kids are obsessed with:

I'm not exactly sure what it  (Jason knows...) but to the kids it is a butterfly pony net and a trumpet/thing to carry around and throw.

Shoes are another big one with Joe.

Specifically my work shoe - on his right foot.  He will sit around in it for up to an hour some nights!  NO idea why!

And let's not forget boxes...

Both kids (acutally ALL kids) love boxes - any shape or size!  Laundry baskets too - they are kind of like boxes.  The length of time boxes/baskets amuse kids is awesome! 

Sometimes I wonder why we need have any toys!  These two can make anything fun!